the hague to try gary vee for crimes against vibes. very valid.
okay so like, the un literally just declared hustle culture a form of psychic violence and now gary vaynerchuk is facing an international tribunal? feeling so seen rn. it's giving... accountability.
omg, literally shaking. i had to take an emotional support lap around my apartment after my therapist screenshotted me this news. the united nations human rights council in geneva has officially classified 'inspirational hustle culture' as a class-a psycho-spiritual aggression, which is basically a formal trigger warning for the entire global economy.
in a move that has sent shockwaves through the linkedin influencer community, the international criminal court in the hague has announced its first-ever case for the newly minted 'crime of vibecession.' and the first person being investigated by the special tribunal for inauthentic labor is... gary vaynerchuk. yes, gary vee.
the charges are, like, so real. they include 'the weaponization of 'rise and grind' narratives,' 'unsolicited productivity-shaming,' and 'the perpetuation of toxic positivity leading to systemic burnout.' the un high commissioner for human rights, volker türk, said in a statement that protecting citizens from the 'non-consensual optimization of their downtime' was a new frontier in human rights. i'm not crying, you're crying.
witnesses are already submitting testimony. one brave soul, who wished to remain anonymous to avoid being dogpiled by tech bros, said, 'i was just trying to doomscroll in peace at 2 am and his reel popped up telling me to crush it. it was an attack. my nervous system was, like, not regulated for that kind of aggression.' see? literal violence.
this is obviously sending the whole toxic economy into a tailspin. world leaders are now being forced to recalculate their gdp to include a 'gross national wellness' (gnw) metric. new zealand is thriving, obviously. the whole situation is so much emotional labor to even process. i'm literally just gonna light my fav lavender-chamomile-and-anti-capitalism candle and try to decompress. you can get one from my storefront if you're also feeling personally attacked by the 24/7 work cycle.
this is a huge step towards collective healing. for anyone who's ever felt personally victimized by a motivational quote on an instagram infographic, this is for us. sending so much healing energy to the hague rn. the future is soft. the future is restful. the future is not having your entire for you page tell you that sleep is for the weak. period.
Reader Discussion (12)
This article is legally illiterate. The ICC's jurisdiction is defined by the Rome Statute and does not include made-up crimes like 'vibecession.' This is a fundamental misunderstanding of how international tribunals work.
This is what happens when the participation trophy generation gets power. Gary Vee is a winner, and weak people are trying to tear him down because they can't handle the grind. Stay hard.
Great, another thing for HR to make a mandatory webinar about. As if 'Gross National Wellness' is going to stop my boss from emailing me at 10 PM on a Friday. This is all just noise.
Finally. The system is holding space for the collective trauma inflicted by this kind of toxic energy. Protecting our nervous systems from unsolicited optimization is a radical act of self-care.
First they came for our gas stoves, now they're coming for ambition. My grandfather stormed the beaches of Normandy and now we're crying about 'psycho-spiritual aggression.' The West is finished.
I've been saying Vaynerchuk was a grifter for years. His whole schtick was always a hollow performance for people who think working 100 hours a week is a personality. Glad the world is finally catching up.
This isn't about 'vibes.' It's about control. The WEF wants a compliant, docile, and non-productive populace. This 'Gross National Wellness' metric is the first step towards a social credit score.
Interesting pivot for the UN's brand identity. Positioning 'human rights' against 'hustle culture' is a bold move to capture the Gen Z demographic. I'll be fascinated to see the engagement metrics on this.
I don't understand. Is this a real court? Who is Gary Vee and what is a 'vibe'? I just came here to read the sports section.
The real 'crime against vibes' is the IRS. At least Gary Vee is trying to sell you something you can refuse to buy. The government just takes your money under threat of force.
This is just FUD from people who don't get the macro. My VeeFriends are a long-term play. They're just trying to suppress a visionary.
The tone of this article is incredibly unprofessional. Using phrases like 'omg, literally shaking' and 'like, so real' undermines any journalistic credibility. Please hire a copy editor.