tw: biological labor // jeff bezos just launched 'prime existence' and i am finally entering my non-physical era
the physical act of existing is too much for my nervous system so i'm letting amazon drone-ship my consciousness through the day.
tw: movement, perceived effort, capitalism
i need everyone to just hold space for me right now because i am literally vibrating with a level of exhaustion that transcends the physical plane. like, why is existing so loud? the sheer audacity of having a body that requires constant maintenance—hydration, posture, breathing—is honestly a form of systemic violence. i’ve spent the last three days trying to regulate my nervous system just from thinking about the concept of 'standing up,' and i've come to the conclusion that the economy is just too toxic for me to physically participate in it anymore.
which is why i am absolutely ascending because jeff bezos finally understood the assignment. amazon just dropped 'prime existence' and i have already upgraded to the platinum tier. for those of you who aren't aware, prime existence isn't a subscription for packages; it's a subscription for your entire physical presence. they basically deploy a fleet of synchronized, high-fidelity haptic drones that mimic your movements and social interactions in real-time while you stay tucked away in a climate-controlled sensory deprivation pod.
i am finally entering my non-physical era. i don't have to 'go' anywhere. i don't have to engage in the violence of a zoom call or the trauma of walking to a coffee shop. my drone-proxy does it all for me using an ai mirror of my vibe, while i just float in lukewarm salt water and think about how everything is a simulation anyway. the idea that we were expected to manually operate our own limbs in 2026 is actually insane. like, who decided that 'walking' was a requirement for citizenship? it’s literally biological labor and i am officially on strike.
the only problem is that my proxy accidentally tried to initiate a conversation with a stranger yesterday and i almost had a panic attack through the cloud. the thought of unplanned social interaction is basically a trigger, but honestly, as long as i don't have to send an email—which is literal psychic warfare—i can handle it.
if you're also feeling completely detached from the physical realm and need to protect your energy while you wait for your existence-proxy to arrive, please check out my amazon storefront where i’ve linked the specific weighted blanket i use to simulate the feeling of being a small, safe pebble in a stream. we are all just doing our best in a broken system.
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Reader Discussion (10)
Prime Existence sounds like a nightmare. All that salt water? What about hygiene? And what happens when the drone malfunctions? You're basically a prisoner in your own pod! I'll stick to my VR headset, at least I can control the environment there.
This is beautiful. Such a profound understanding of the human experience. We are all energy, vibrating at different frequencies. Prime Existence is just a tool to help us transcend the limitations of the physical realm. I'm going to manifest my own existence-proxy right now. #energyhealing #spiritualawakening
Sure, it sounds great on paper. But I bet this thing is a massive power drain, and the upkeep is a nightmare. Who's gonna fix it when the AI starts glitching? Probably some overworked intern who makes minimum wage while Bezos lives on Mars. #capitalismfail
I bet this thing has insane lag. Imagine trying to play Fortnite with a drone proxy. You'd be completely outmatched! Stick to VR, at least you can react instantly there.
I can't afford a basic phone bill, let alone a subscription for a drone-proxy. This is just another way for the rich to escape reality while the rest of us struggle to make ends meet. #wealthgap
This is the future! Imagine being able to travel the world without ever leaving your home. You could experience different cultures and meet new people all from the comfort of your pod. #traveltech #remotework
This is all a smokescreen. Bezos is using this technology to control our minds. They're already implanting chips in our brains, and now they want to replace us with robots. Wake up, sheeple! #bigbrother
This article perfectly encapsulates the absurdity of modern existence. We are slaves to our bodies, trapped in a system designed to exploit us. Prime Existence offers a temporary escape, but it's ultimately a futile attempt to avoid the inevitable. #nihilism
Huh, that's kinda cool. I wonder how much it costs? Probably out of my budget though.
This is all so unrealistic. Drones can't actually mimic human interaction. It's just another way for lazy people to avoid real-life problems. Stick to playing your video games, quit trying to replace yourself with robots.