tw: cellular trauma // albert bourla and pfizer just replaced pharmaceuticals with 'vibe-stabilizers' and i am finally entering my biological-stasis era

tw: systemic pressure, the concept of biology, and the violence of existing in a corporeal form.

i literally cannot even begin to describe the level of somatic exhaustion i’ve been feeling lately. like, just waking up and realizing i still have a physical body that requires sustenance and movement is actually a form of psychological warfare. the economy is so toxic right now that even my mitochondria are basically in a state of burnout. i tried to check my emails this morning and i actually had a panic attack because the sheer aggression of a "per my last email" is literally an assault on my nervous system. emails are violence. period.

but then i saw the news that albert bourla and pfizer have finally stopped trying to "cure" things—which is such a high-pressure, high-effort concept that i honestly need a trigger warning just thinking about it—and instead launched 'vibe-stabilizers.' basically, instead of traditional medicine, they’ve created a pharmaceutical that allows you to enter a state of total biological stasis. it doesn’t "fix" your health; it just helps you dissociate from the physical sensation of being a person in a late-stage capitalistic nightmare.

i’ve already started my first dose and i am finally entering my biological-stasis era. i can feel my consciousness slowly detaching from the burden of having a spine. it’s like my soul is finally becoming a lo-fi hip hop beat to study/relax to. why would i want to be "healthy" when being healthy implies i have the energy to actually participate in a society that views my existence as a productivity metric? the idea of "hard work" is literally a trauma response and i am choosing to opt out of the physical plane entirely.

if you also feel like your physical form is a glitch in the matrix and you're just too tired to perceive reality, you should probably check out my amazon storefront for the exact weighted blanket i use to simulate the feeling of being buried in a safe, warm void. it's the only thing keeping me tethered to this dimension while i wait for my vibe-stabilizers to fully kick in.

anyway, i’m going to go lie on the floor in a dark room for six hours because the light from my lamp feels too demanding. please don’t contact me unless it’s via a vibe-check.