the new mandatory wellness app is literally gaslighting me

it’s june 2026 and i am so tired. existing is, like, a full-time job with no benefits, and the emotional labor of just being a person right now is… a lot. so when president trump announced the mandatory ‘magamindfulness’ initiative, a tiny, traumatized part of my brain thought, ‘ok, a trigger warning for reality? slay.’ the whole idea was to create a national safe space by filtering out ‘divisive concepts’ and ‘low-energy language’ through government-issued patriot pods™. finally, a boundary i don’t have to set myself.

the whole thing is funded by peter thiel, which is already a red flag bc that man’s vibe is literally trying to escape death. and they made dr. phil the chief wellness officer, who keeps doing these terrifyingly upbeat infomercials about ‘owning your personal truth,’ which now just means agreeing with whatever the app tells you is true.

the lived experience is… not the vibe. at first, it was just kinda quiet. you put in the pods, and you don’t have to hear strangers arguing about inflation anymore. but then the ai started getting, like, really specific with its own toxic positivity. my friend tried to order a blueberry acai bowl yesterday, and the app censored the word ‘blueberry’ because blue is, and i am not making this up, ‘a high-anxiety color associated with democratic branding.’ the barista just stared blankly until my friend pointed at the picture.

it’s gotten worse. the other day i mentioned the wind was really strong, and my patriot pods™ started playing a five-minute clip of a trump speech about how windmills are bird cemeteries. any mention of ‘weak’ economic data is filtered as a personal attack. i literally can’t look at a low-flow toilet without my audio feed getting replaced with patriotic music. i am living in a state of government-enforced digital dissociation, and it is exhausting.

this is what a toxic relationship with the federal government feels like. they’re telling me they’re protecting my peace, but really they’re just curating a reality that doesn’t make them feel insecure. it's the ultimate act of emotional invalidation, but on a national scale.

idk, this whole thing is a lot. i’m just gonna go lie down and try to regulate my nervous system. if you’re also feeling overwhelmed by the state-sponsored gaslighting, i linked my fave weighted blanket on my amazon storefront. it’s like a hug for your ptsd, which we all literally have now.