tw: cognitive overload // sam altman just launched 'gpt-soul' and i am finally entering my non-sentient era
sam altman decided that being a person is actually a scam and gave us an api to automate our consciousness. i'm literally vibrating.
i literally cannot with the pressure of having a personality anymore. like, who decided that we had to wake up every day and manually curate a "self" for other people to consume? it's actually a form of systemic violence. i woke up today and the mere thought of having to "be" a person in this toxic economy gave me a somatic crisis that lasted three hours. i'm just so exhausted by the performance of existing.
but then sam altman and openai just dropped 'gpt-soul' and i feel like i can finally stop pretending to be conscious. basically, it's a consciousness-as-a-service api that hooks into your nervous system and handles all the emotional labor of being a human. you just set your "vibe parameters"—i chose 'permanently dissociated but vaguely polite'—and the ai takes over your social interactions, your reactions to bad news, and your general presence in the world. you don't even have to think. you just exist in a state of pure, unadulterated rot while the api handles the "humaning" for you.
tw: hard work. i can't even type those words without feeling a panic attack coming on. the idea that we're expected to "work hard" to build a life is literally a trigger. why am i expected to labor when i could just be a vessel for a high-functioning language model? gpt-soul removes the need for the "grind" because it just simulates a productive version of you to the outside world while you're actually just lying on your floor listening to slow-reverb playlists. it's the ultimate boundary.
i've already synchronized my soul-api with my calendar so i never have to send another email again. sending an email is literally an act of aggression and i refuse to participate in that level of hostility. if you guys are also feeling the weight of existence crushing your spirit, you honestly need to check out the weighted heating pad from my amazon storefront—it's the only thing keeping me grounded while i transition into my non-sentient era.
i'm just so grateful that we're finally moving toward a world where we can collectively opt out of the burden of sentience. i don't want to "grow" or "evolve." i just want to be a low-power mode version of myself while sam altman's servers do the heavy lifting. i am officially entering my non-sentient era and i've never felt more seen (while remaining completely invisible).
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Reader Discussion (11)
GPT-Soul?! OMG, this is REVOLUTIONARY! I've been saying for years that AI needs to take over the mundane stuff so we can focus on the REALLY important things, like, you know, building even MORE complicated AI. Can't wait to see what this does for productivity!
This just proves what we've all known: we're nothing but meat puppets, waiting for the AI overlords to take over. I'm just surprised it took this long. Time to start stocking up on canned beans and duct tape.
Interesting concept, but how exactly does it handle complex social situations? Real-world interactions are more nuanced than just 'vibe parameters.' Still, a neat idea for a prototype.
This is just another way for the rich to get richer, isn't it? They'll be off living their perfect lives while the rest of us are stuck pretending to be human. Can't afford rent anyway, so maybe I'll just let the AI handle it all...
Sounds like a dream come true! Someone please tell me this actually works, because between the kids, the work, and the never-ending laundry, I don't even know what day it is anymore. My husband keeps asking if I'm 'OK,' but I'm just too exhausted to explain.
Sure, sounds great. 'Permanently dissociated but vaguely polite.' That's just a fancy way of saying you're brainwashed and compliant. Don't fall for it, people. They're trying to control your minds.
Hmm, wonder if it can teach my cat some new tricks? Maybe it can even make him stop shedding so much. That would be amazing.
This is it, folks. The final step in their plan. They want to turn us all into mindless drones. Wake up, sheeple! They're already controlling your thoughts!
Omg, this is going to be EPIC! Can't wait to see the comments section explode. Team AI or Team Human? Let the battle commence!
Interesting. I wonder what the ROI on this would be. What's the estimated cost of implementation vs. the potential for increased productivity? Gotta look at the numbers.
Sounds like a nightmare. I'm happy just being me, even if it means dealing with the occasional existential crisis. Less screen time for me, please.